My last trip into a Joann store was a few weeks ago, but I continued to “monitor” the liquidation activities on Reddit. I wanted to stop by one of the remaining open stores in my area, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so, and for a few reasons.

On one hand I felt that continuing a long-standing habit of pivoting to Joann’s when I want to engage in a fabric, yarn or other craft project was not good for me. They were closing for good, and were no longer going to be available to serve my crafting needs, so I couldn’t rationalize prolonging the potential disappointment.

Other emotions related more to my own challenges about the large stash of fabric and yarn I owned, and the self-flagellation (scolding) that often accompanies such collections. I would think about going “one more time” and then chastise myself as I stood in the midst of more yarn and fabric that many of the stores had left at that point.

Still other feelings were related more to the sense of loss and mourning I felt for this crafting and sewing (especially) community resource. Life brings with it enough sadness; I felt no need to pile on. And so I began, in earnest, to lean into a new normal – one that focused on getting an idea to make something, and turning to my existing fabric or yarn collection.

In truth, this is a much healthier approach, financially and from a psychological perspective. In the United States, especially, we have been “trained” to shop when we need to feel better, or for fun, or when we are bored, which is at least partially responsible for our stashes of fabric, yarn and other things that may never come to a finished end until they are cleared out of our home and passed on to another crafter who delights in their “great find” from a thrift shop or estate sale.

I’m not trying to be morbid, but in 30 years, I’ll be into my 90’s. I’m not sure I can make things and use up everything in my stash if I started now and worked full-time toward that goal.

It was this swirling combination of emotions that had me frozen in time as I felt the Joann clock ticking, but also felt the need to walk away. It was like knowing that a relationship was over, but still habitually turning to the person, and then catching ourselves as we remember that whatever USED to be, is no longer there.

As reports of the final closing of all remaining Joann stores swept across Reddit, it was as if some “spell” had been broken. I had been looking at a pattern for another bag, and had been stalled in getting started. I could not decide what fabric to use, how to approach it (somewhat new-to-me process and materials), and I was just not feeling it. Last night, I felt ready and dug in, easily selecting remnants and coordinating colors from my fabric collection.

I ended up being in my sewing room until just after midnight, and made some decent progress on the project. I was intrigued by this bag because it shares some general style and construction approaches with 2 previous bag styles that I have made. It would combine skills I honed in 2 separate projects into one, and with my coffee-centric theme, promised to be an interesting addition to my selection of bags.

One benefit to not having the comfortable habit of turning to Joann when in a crafting mood is that I have to use my brain to think about what substitutes to use if a pattern calls for something that I don’t have in my collection of supplies. This pattern (M8522) calls for buckram – something that was new to my sewing vocabulary. Reading through the pattern I realized that it was something to give structure and stiffness to the piece (notice how the bags on the pattern envelope stand upright on their own). I was able to substitute something similar and suitable from my collection (not even sure what it’s called, but it’s a stiff, fusible fleece that is thick like flexible cardboard and not as stiff/thick as decovil).

Another thing I noticed in my journey with this pattern (acquired from a thrift resource) and my stash-centric piece, was that I had a much lowered sense of urgency around finishing the item. I had not gone to the store and purchased all these things to make it, so I was able to approach it from a relaxed perspective. I’m not certain, as I’m not a psychologist, but I suspect that undertaking a project based on “this might be fun – let’s see if I have the supplies” has a much different (more healthy?) energy than the full Joann bag with the long receipt that we may feel a twinge of guilt about bringing home.

I’ll have to contemplate that some more, and read up on what this might be, but suffice it to say, it was infinitely more pleasant working on this project from that different space.

Since I was in no hurry to complete it, I was able to engage in this project as a process (journey?), instead of being on a forced march toward an end product. In a previous blog post I wrote about a similar theme related to using a knitting machine vs. hand knitting. I found that I was enjoying the JOURNEY, and not just focused on the destination.

What did that do for me?

I was able to look at each step and decide what made sense to do. For example, since it was a Friday evening after a long work week, I decided that I wasn’t in the mood to change thread and bobbin back and forth which I would have to do if I followed the pattern. This meant that I needed to look through the pattern and see what I could get done with the brown thread that I had prepared and loaded for use on the piece. This allowed me to sew through a full bobbin, and apply the fusible interfacing and fleece, and get the project to a very solid place before it was time for bed.

For me this was soothing and peaceful, instead of being irritating (I sometimes find having to switch thread colors back and forth to be aggravating), and so it was an enjoyable experience all around, instead of feeling like a job with a deadline. And isn’t that what our fiber arts activities should be most of the time?

We’ve all had times where we put things off until the last minute, and have a project or gift deadline that is hanging over our heads. That’s not the norm for me, but I often found myself feeling that kind of pressure to make things – even if they were just for myself and my own enjoyment and use.

I am certain that, along with other former Joann shoppers, I will have times I remember them wistfully, and times that I really miss the resource to the community that they had been since 1945. Right now, however; I am hoping that no one jumps into that space to present a “shiny new object” (Joann replacement) to tempt us into hoarding even MORE fabric, yarn and craft supplies.

I’d like to see a crafting population pivot toward using what we have, sharing with others through de-stashing groups or thrift store donations, and taking back the original essence of hand crafted items: making things that are lovely or useful or BOTH with the supplies and items we already have on hand.

Not only is this approach a more sustainable (and ecologically sound) way of crafting; it’s a much healthier way to engage with activities that we often undertake for no other reason than to experience joy.

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