Last weekend I decided to treat myself to some “me” time, so I mapped out a half-day excursion to an independent fiber store a decent distance from my house. I was excited because I had not been there since they changed hands, and was looking forward to seeing what the new owners have done with the space and vibe.

I browsed, chatted, selected some supplies to make a specific summer item, and was thinking about what a lovely trip it was turning into when the owner started talking about things that landed like the THUD of a heavy sand bag, dropped from a decent height. My bubble quickly deflated.

She didn’t say anything rude or use foul language. She did, however, alert me to the fact that she and I have VERY different values, and I knew at that moment that I would not be shopping there again.

I chose to remain pleasant and kind, although I did think about putting my things back and making an excuse – or even saying that I was not going to be able to support a store that was OK with things that I, and many others like me, find abhorrent.

But I didn’t.

Some may accuse me of acting like a coward, but I disagree.

I intentionally chose the path of peace and counted the cost of the items I purchased as the price of the lesson I learned. While my purchase will show up on the shop’s books as a sale, it was nominal, and the bigger issue is about what comes next.

I will not only not return to spend more money, but I will alert people who share my values of this experience, so that they can make a choice as to whether or not to spend their fiber money in a place like that.

The most common way I resist is by minimizing the money I spend at places or on platforms that don’t share my values. It has been my experience over the years that, sadly, the bottom line seems to be the only thing that makes people in business pay any attention.

Depending on the depth of the shop owner’s pockets, my experience and subsequent alerting of like-minded fiber folks may or may not have any impact. And that’s OK. At the end of the day, the most important thing for me is to not just TALK (or write) about my beliefs, but to live by them. Thankfully, I have recently learned that there’s a similar store, located much closer to my home, whose owner DOES share my values.

My desire to add another occasional fiber shop to my list of favorite shops that day ended up being a failed mission. Still, I did not go home empty handed (and I’m not talking about my purchase).

I learned an important lesson – about a fiber shop, about myself and about how I want to live my values.

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